Senior Planet: Aging with Attitude Senior Planet from AARP Main Menu
Search Donate
Online Classes
All Online Classes Fitness & Wellness Clases en español 中文活動
In-Person Classes Articles
Resources
Hotline NEW! More to Explore Podcast 1-on-1 Tech Help On-Demand Learning Tech Tips Videos How To Use Zoom Quizzes and Games Tech Terms Glossary
Get Involved
Welcome to Senior Planet! Sign Up for Newsletters Senior Planet Community Volunteer Ways to Give Planned Giving
Contact Us
Online Classes
All Online Classes Fitness & Wellness Clases en español 中文活動
In-Person Classes
New York City North Country, NY Montgomery County, MD Denver, CO San Antonio, TX Miami, FL More Locations
Articles
All Articles Book Club Healthy Aging Inspiring Stories Life & Culture The Man Cave Open Thread Sex & Relationships Technology Work & Money Senior Planet News
Resources
Hotline NEW! More to Explore Podcast 1-on-1 Tech Help On-Demand Learning Tech Tips Videos How To Use Zoom Quizzes and Games Tech Terms Glossary
Get Involved
Welcome to Senior Planet! Sign Up for Newsletters Senior Planet Community Volunteer Ways to Give Planned Giving Contact Us
Donate Search

Articles

Section Menu
All Book Club Healthy Aging Inspiring Stories Life & Culture The Man Cave Open Thread Sex & Relationships Tech Work & Money Senior Planet News
Open Thread

Open Thread Update: Advice to Your Younger Selves

By Virge Friday, February 2, 2024 18 Comments Share This:

Last time we asked for the advice we’d give to our younger selves – and got some powerful, poignant and uplifting replies.

As a recovering people pleaser myself, I found some comments very impactful.  

Stop trying to make others happy. 

C. Marie

Be true to yourself

-Deb 

Others muse about being more open to possibilities…

I’d say look beyond what you are familiar with to other possibilities outside of what you know.  Don’t let others tell you, you can’t do it….

Karen Bridger

Many comments were simply ‘be true to yourself.” And who among us wouldn’t agree with this advice from Reader Vivian? 

 “I’d recognize love more often..” 

The comments thus far from readers like Doris S. APC and others also acknowledge the limited horizons and options open to women at a certain place and time….a good way to reflect on how far we’ve come since then.

…and finally Reader Nancy offers some uplifting words that put it all in perspective.

But then, I wouldn’t have the son that I treasure, this little house that’s all mine in a community I adore, the friends that I enjoy being with, the church that has deepened my understanding of the Bible & helped me to see the thousands of blessings I’ve received.

We’ll keep the comments open for a while so you can add the advice you’d whisper into Younger You….and remember – you’re Younger You to the person you’ll be five years from now – so take your own advice now!!
ORIGINAL TEXT BELOW:

Where does the time go?  Somehow I’m still stuck thinking that 10 years ago is the 90’s —- 30 years ago. 

I guess it’s some kind of weird hope that I can magically go into a Wayback Machine and get a do over for some decisions and actions of mine. (Yeah, yeah, I know it’s all valuable and made me what I am, yada yada, but this is pretend.)

Besides, it’s interesting to consider what might have been, the roads taken (or not) and how my life would have been different today. When I look back there are some decisions and habits that cast a long shadow.  Here’s what I’d tell my younger, 90’s self about them:

  • Don’t sell the McDonald’s stock. (High trading fees and the stock’s lack of movement did it. If I held on I’d be writing from my yacht in Monaco now.)
  • Hold on to the house, no matter what Michael said.  (Not once, but twice! OW!!)
  • Get over your fear of driving! (I was so bad people stopped to watch, openmouthed, while I tried to park. Now I’m aware how it limits my choices of places and activities.)
  • Don’t postpone joy. (I don’t have to ‘earn it’ or wait for the perfect time. Be happy now!)
  • Seek out and pay attention to the advice of medical, legal and financial professionals. (Take the damn vitamins, read the damned directions, and make the time!)
  • Work actively to maintain relationships with people who prove they value you and not just because they are “faaaamily.”
  • Stop worrying about things you can’t control.
  • Ease up on the stilettos.  I can only wear sneakers now.

Your Turn

But that’s me.  How about you? What would tell your younger self? Share your thoughts in the comments!

 

Virge Randall is Senior Planet’s Managing Editor. She is also a freelance culture reporter who seeks out hidden gems and unsung (or undersung) treasures for Straus Newspapers; her blog “Don’t Get Me Started” puts a quirky new spin on Old School New York City. Send your suggestions for Open Threads to her at editor@seniorplanet.org.

COMMENTS

18 responses to “Open Thread Update: Advice to Your Younger Selves”

  1. Margaret R:
    Friday, February 23, 2024 at 7:17am

    Show people that you love and care about them. However, if they don’ t reciprocate, move on. Don’t waste time with people who don’t care enough about you.

    Reply to Margaret R
  2. Nancy H:
    Tuesday, February 6, 2024 at 3:59pm

    I’d stand up to my parents, make them know that I’m intelligent and capable. I’m much more than they believe. I’ve told people in trailers to get off our land . My parents didn’t know that.. I was on horseback, Tonto. I said something to the trailer and I said I would call the sheriff if they didn’t leave.

    Reply to Nancy H
  3. Karen Bridger:
    Tuesday, January 30, 2024 at 9:08pm

    I’d say look beyond what you are familiar with to other possibilities outside of what you know. It is a big world and you don’t have to stay in your current location. Don’t let others tell you, you can’t do it. Get a good education even if it isn’t easy. The education is it’s own reward. Don’t miss any weddings, funerals or birthdays. Those are important events in the lives of your friends and family and you need to be there to share it.

    Reply to Karen Bridger
  4. Debby Southwell:
    Saturday, January 27, 2024 at 5:00pm

    I’d tell my younger self, don’t let anxiety win. Try new things, meet new people, go out of your comfort zone. Don’t let the criticism of others decide what you’re going to do or not do. Be true to yourself.

    Reply to Debby Southwell
    1. Pam:
      Tuesday, January 30, 2024 at 8:34pm

      Love this, good for any age right? Speaks to my 75 year old self.

      Reply to Pam
  5. VivianL Presley:
    Friday, January 26, 2024 at 10:46pm

    I’d recognize love more often. Many times I ended relationships because of things I didn’t like. However love was still present.
    I’d be less curious about things I knew were not for me like drugs and gambling.
    Never saved money like I should have. Although I’ve always had what I needed I could’ve done better.

    Reply to VivianL Presley
  6. Cora Lynn:
    Friday, January 26, 2024 at 12:33am

    Wow, as usual I’m the ‘bad seed’ because none of your comments mention mistakes like using drugs or having sex because you wanted so much for the guy to like you.
    To younger me: I forgive you for the terrible mistakes you made that changed who you were meant to be. You’ve never accepted the possibility your parents might have said or done more to impress upon to be very aware, love yourself, be proud of yourself, you’re a good girl, you’re smart, and your little sister looks up to you.

    Reply to Cora Lynn
  7. Doris Sanders:
    Thursday, January 25, 2024 at 4:27pm

    I wish I had researched more available options for a major in college. I just listened to what other people said I would be good at. Anyway, in the 60s not a lot of options were available to women, especially in small States like Wyoming.

    However, I just felt fortunate to be going to college at all! Eventually, I did make my way around to doing work more suitable for me. I learned a lot along the way!

    Reply to Doris Sanders
  8. CONCEIÇÃO BRITO - Portugal:
    Thursday, January 25, 2024 at 1:13pm

    i WISH i HAD HAD MORE FUN. I STUDIED HARD, MARRIED AND HAD CHILDREN, NEVER STOPPED WORK AND WHEN I RETIRED I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO HAVE FUN AND ENJOY LIFE. AT 77 YEARS OF AGE, I HAVE FINALLY LEARNED QUITE A FEW THINGS ABOUT ENJOYING LIFE. BUT THERE ARE MANY THINGS THAT I SHOULD HAVE DONE WHEN I WAS YOUNG. I WILL MISS THEM FOREVER.

    Reply to CONCEIÇÃO BRITO - Portugal
    1. Diane Katz:
      Wednesday, February 7, 2024 at 4:56am

      If you love someone (family, friend or romantic partner), tell the person while you still have the chance.

      Reply to Diane Katz
  9. Nancy C:
    Wednesday, January 24, 2024 at 11:03pm

    Oh the things I wish I could change! But then, I wouldn’t have the son that I treasure, this little house that’s all mine in a community I adore, the friends that I enjoy being with, the church that has deepened my understanding of the Bible & helped me to see the thousands of blessings I’ve received. Who can know ‘what might have been?’. To my younger self I would say: Step out of your comfort zone, because that is where true growth and amazing adventures happen!

    Reply to Nancy C
  10. C. Marie:
    Wednesday, January 24, 2024 at 4:51pm

    Stop trying to make others happy. You cannot change anyone. Only they can make that decision to find joy. Accept it.

    Reply to C. Marie
    1. Annie:
      Saturday, February 24, 2024 at 12:06am

      I absolutely agree with you 100%! I spent most of my life trying to make someone happy who just didn’t want to be happy. I could not make him happy; he had to make that decision himself. Being happy is just NOT what he wants to do. It took me years to realize that.

      Reply to Annie
  11. Cathie Werley:
    Wednesday, January 24, 2024 at 12:17pm

    My husband’s answer is: I’d tell myself to be more bold.

    Reply to Cathie Werley
  12. judith M Lewis:
    Wednesday, January 24, 2024 at 5:55am

    I would not listen to all the negative things that people (family) told me about myself.example when they told me I was stupid I have worked hard at proving them and myself wrong. I would have learned self love is more important than other people’s acceptance. I would embrace radical acceptance and dealt with things as they were and not live in a fantasy world of wishing things were different. I would tell myself no matter what “Never give up.”

    Reply to judith M Lewis
  13. apc:
    Tuesday, January 23, 2024 at 10:31pm

    I would be more self directed in planning a career rather than marrying at 21 and becoming a mom at 22 which postponed all of that. Instead of becoming a nurse at 47, I should have done so in the late 1960’s and gone to serve in Vietnam, then I would feel I had contributed to my country.

    Reply to apc
  14. Joan Price:
    Tuesday, January 23, 2024 at 10:30pm

    At 80, I barely regret any of my actions over the decades. I stayed in a relationship too long, but I learned a lot about myself from that. I do regret some inactions, especially not asking my parents and grandparents to tell me their stories when I was a teenager and young adult. Growing up, I didn’t care to listen . Now I wish I’d listened and written down the stories. I would have understood my family better — not only their histories, but their decisions about their own lives and mine.

    Reply to Joan Price
  15. Deb Brooks:
    Tuesday, January 23, 2024 at 8:20pm

    Be true to yourself. Don’t be so keen to be a people pleaser ( even subconsciously) or keep the peace , that you allow others to traverse your boundaries to the extent you lose sight of who you really are.

    Reply to Deb Brooks

Leave a ReplyCancel

Senior Planet’s comments are open for all readers/subscribers; we love hearing from you! However, some comments are not welcome here as violations of our Comment Policy. If you would like to express a comment about Senior Planet locations or programs, please contact info@seniorplanet.org. Want to continue the conversation? Start your own discussion on this topic on Senior Planet Community.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Sign Up for Newsletters

There’s always a lot going on in the Senior Planet universe. Get our newsletters to make sure you never miss a thing!

Sign Up Now

Join Senior Planet Community

Senior Planet Community is our social media platform designed specifically for older adult users. Engage in thought-provoking discussions, make new friends, and share resources all on a safe and ad-free platform.

Join the Conversation Today

Upcoming Online Classes

35 events found.

Events

  • June 2026

Calendar of Events

S Sunday
M Monday
T Tuesday
W Wednesday
T Thursday
F Friday
S Saturday
0 events, 31
0 events, 1
0 events, 2
0 events, 3
0 events, 4
0 events, 5
0 events, 6
0 events, 7
0 events, 8
0 events, 9
0 events, 10
0 events, 11
0 events, 12
0 events, 13
0 events, 14
0 events, 15
0 events, 16
0 events, 17
0 events, 18
0 events, 19
0 events, 20
0 events, 21
0 events, 22
0 events, 23
0 events, 24
0 events, 25
0 events, 26
1 event, 27
11:00am – 11:45am
Functional Strength Training
Sat, June 27 11:00am EDT
Functional Strength Training

Use bodyweight, bands, and dumbbells to build your strength.

0 events, 28
0 events, 29
0 events, 30
0 events, 1
0 events, 2
0 events, 3
0 events, 4
Notice
There are no events on this day.
Notice
There are no events on this day.
Notice
There are no events on this day.
Notice
There are no events on this day.
Notice
There are no events on this day.
Notice
There are no events on this day.
Notice
There are no events on this day.
Notice
There are no events on this day.
Notice
There are no events on this day.
Notice
There are no events on this day.
Notice
There are no events on this day.
Notice
There are no events on this day.
Notice
There are no events on this day.
Sat, June 27
Sat, June 27 11:00am EDT

Functional Strength Training

Notice
There are no events on this day.
Notice
There are no events on this day.
Notice
There are no events on this day.
Notice
There are no events on this day.
Notice
There are no events on this day.
Notice
There are no events on this day.
Notice
There are no events on this day.
Notice
There are no events on this day.
Notice
There are no events on this day.
Notice
There are no events on this day.
Notice
There are no events on this day.
Notice
There are no events on this day.
Notice
There are no events on this day.
Sat, June 27
Sat, June 27 11:00am EDT

Functional Strength Training

Notice
There are no events on this day.
Notice
There are no events on this day.
Notice
There are no events on this day.
Notice
There are no events on this day.
Notice
There are no events on this day.
Notice
There are no events on this day.
Notice
There are no events on this day.
View Calendar

Recent Articles

  • Senior Planet talks to…Spacewoman Eileen Collins
  • Do Your Heart Good: Dr. Cleve Francis, 80
  • Seniors at the Oscars
  • Viva Verdi!
  • Place Planning: Where to Live?

Recent Comments

  • Jocelyn Brown on Senior Planet Book Club: The Emperor of Gladness by Ocean Vuong
  • Rose on Are you pushing away your adult children?
  • charlie stewart on Open Thread Update: The Average Old Person
  • charlie stewart on Open Thread Update: The Average Old Person
  • sushila m mathew on Open Thread: Give Me the Analog Life

Latest Articles

More Articles

Life & Culture

Senior Planet talks to…Spacewoman Eileen Collins

The first woman to pilot and command a space shuttle mission, Eileen Collins, 69, inspires as a speaker, author and subject of the documentary, Spacewoman.
Inspiring Stories

Do Your Heart Good: Dr. Cleve Francis, 80

Dr. Cleve Francis, 80, is a cardiologist, the founder of the Black Country Music Association with nine albums to his credit...and now author of a memoir due to come out this fall.
Life & Culture

Seniors at the Oscars

Oscar nominees, the Academy and the industry all agree: this is an extraordinary year for older actors in streaming films and series on Apple TV, Hulu and elsewhere.
smart phone devices for seniors learning new computer and technology skills
Life & Culture

Viva Verdi!

Viva Verdi! celebrates the enduring power of music and resilience at Milan’s Casa Verdi, a retirement home founded by Giuseppe Verdi for elderly musicians.

Support free programs.
Donate today!

Donate Today

Don’t be a stranger!

Sign up for our newsletters →

Follow us on social media:

WHO WE ARE

We’re a distinctive, diverse collection of people aged 60 and older who are busy changing the way we age by embracing opportunities to reshape our lives, connect with and help one another, and change the world for the better —all while learning, growing, and having fun!

ABOUT US

  • Our Purpose
  • Impact Areas
  • Our Team
  • Our Sponsors
  • Press Highlights
  • Rules of Conduct

OUR LOCATIONS

  • New York City
  • Denver, CO
  • Miami, FL
  • Montgomery County, MD
  • North Country, NY
  • San Antonio, TX

GET INVOLVED

  • Sign Up for Newsletters
  • Contact Us
  • Donate
  • Ways to Give

© Copyright 2026 Older Adults Technology Services, Inc. All rights reserved. OATS and Senior Planet are charitable affiliates of AARP: | Terms of Service | Privacy Policy